Chapter VI:
Humorous Parables from
Early and Late Sources
24. Mistress Vedehikā
Patient is as patient does.
Majjhima i. 125-126.
[79] On a certain occasion the Exalted One addressed the monks as follows: “Monks, put away evil; devote yourselves to good works: so shall you obtain increase, growth, development, in this Doctrine and Discipline.”
In olden times, in this very city of Sāvatthi, lived a house-mistress named Vedehikā. Of Mistress Vedehikā prevailed the following excellent reputation: “Gentle is Mistress Vedehikā, meek is Mistress Vedehikā, tranquil is Mistress Vedehikā.” And Mistress Vedehikā had a servant named Blackie who was capable and industrious and performed her duties well.
Now to Servant Blackie occurred the following thought: “Of my lady mistress prevails the following excellent reputation: ‘Gentle is Mistress Vedehikā, meek is Mistress Vedehikā, tranquil is Mistress Vedehikā.’ But has her ladyship, in point of fact, an inward temper which she does not reveal, or has she not? Or is it solely because I have performed these duties well that her lady ship does not reveal an inward temper which, in point of fact, she does possess; – not because she does not possess it? Suppose I were to test her ladyship!”
Accordingly Servant Blackie got up late in the day. And Mistress Vedehikā said this to Servant Blackie: “See here, Blackie!” “What is it, my lady?” “Why did you get up so late?” “For no reason at all, my lady.” “For no reason at all, worthless servant, you got up so late!” And Mistress Vedehikā frowned in anger and displeasure. [80]
Then to Servant Blackie occurred the following thought: “Her ladyship does, in point of fact, possess an inward temper which she does not reveal; – it is not because she does not possess it. It is solely because I have performed these duties well that her ladyship does not reveal an inward temper which, in point of fact, she does possess; – it is not because she does not possess it. Sup pose I were to test her ladyship further!”
Accordingly Servant Blackie got up later in the day. And Mistress Vedehikā said this to Servant Blackie: “See here, Blackie!” “What is it, my lady?” “Why did you get up so late?” “For no reason at all, my lady.” “For no reason at all, worthless servant, you got up so late!” And in anger and displeasure Mistress Vedehikā gave vent to her displeasure in words.
Then to Servant Blackie occurred the following thought: “Her ladyship does, in point of fact, possess an inward temper which she does not reveal; – it is not because she does not possess it. It is solely because I have performed these duties well that her lady ship does not reveal an inward temper which, in point of fact, she does possess; – it is not because she does not possess it. Suppose I were to test her ladyship further!”
Accordingly Servant Blackie got up even later in the day. And Mistress Vedehikā said this to Servant Blackie: “See here, Blackie!” “What is it, my lady?” “Why did you get up so late?” “For no reason at all, my lady.” “For no reason at all, worthless servant, you got up so late!” And in anger and displeasure Mistress Vedehikā seized the pin of the door-bolt and gave her a blow on the head, breaking her head.
Thereupon Servant Blackie, with broken head streaming with blood, complained to the neighbors: “See, my lady, the work of the gentle woman! See, my lady, the work of the meek woman! See, my lady, the work of the tranquil woman! For this is the way a lady acts who keeps but a single servant: ‘You got up too late!’ says she. So what must she do but seize the pin of the door bolt and give you a blow on the head and break your head!”
The result was that after a time Mistress Vedehikā acquired the following evil reputation: “Cruel is Mistress Vedehikā, no meek woman is Mistress Vedehikā, no tranquil woman is Mistress Vedehikā!” [81]
“Precisely so, monks, here in this world, many a monk is ever so gentle, ever so meek, ever so tranquil, so long as unpleasant remarks do not reach him. But when, monks, unpleasant remarks reach a monk, that is the time to find out whether he is really gentle, really meek, really tranquil.”
25. Monkey and Dyer
The Doctrine of the Buddha wears well.
Majjhima i. 384-385.
On a certain occasion the householder Upāli, contrasting the teachings of the Buddha with those of the Jains, spoke as follows:
In former times there was a certain Brahman, and he was decrepit, grown old, aged, and he had a young woman to wife, and she was pregnant, about to give birth to a child. And that young woman said this to that Brahman: “Go you, Brahman, buy a young monkey in the shop and fetch him hither, that he may be a little playmate for my little boy.” Hearing these words, that Brahman said this to that young woman: “Just wait, wife, until you give birth to your child. If, wife, you give birth to a boy, I will buy a young male monkey in the shop and fetch him hither, that he may be a little boy-playmate for your little boy. On the other hand, wife, if you give birth to a girl, I will buy a young female monkey in the shop and fetch her hither, that she may be a little girl playmate for your little girl.”
Twice and thrice that young woman said this to that Brahman, and twice and thrice that Brahman made the same reply.
But that Brahman was deeply attached to that young woman, deeply in love with her. Accordingly he bought a young male monkey in the shop, carried him home, and said this to that young woman: “Here, wife, is a young male monkey I bought in the shop and brought home to you, that he may be a little boy-playmate for your little boy.” Hearing these words, that young woman said this to that Brahman: “Go you, Brahman, take this young male monkey and go to Redhand the dyer, and having gone, say this to Redhand the dyer: ‘I desire, Master Redhand, to have this young male monkey colored and dyed with yellow dye, beaten up and beaten down, rubbed dry on both sides.’ ”
Now that Brahman was deeply attached to that young woman, [82] deeply in love with her. Accordingly he took that young male monkey and went to Redhand the dyer, and having gone, said this to Redhand the dyer: “I desire, Master Redhand, to have this young male monkey colored and dyed with yellow dye, beaten up and beaten down, rubbed dry on both sides.” Hearing these words, Redhand the dyer said this to that Brahman: “As for this young male monkey of yours, revered sir, he will of course stand dyeing, but he won’t stand beating and rubbing!”.
Precisely so,” said Upāli, “the doctrine of the foolish Jains will stand dyeing, for it is a doctrine of foolish folk, – not of wise men, – but it will not stand working or rubbing.”
Now after a time that Brahman took a new pair of cloths and went to Redhand the dyer, and having gone, said this to Redhand the dyer: “I desire, Master Redhand, to have this new pair of cloths colored and dyed with yellow dye, beaten up and beaten down, rubbed dry on both sides.” Hearing these words, Redhand the dyer said this to that Brahman: “As for this new pair of cloths of yours, revered sir, they will stand not only dyeing but also beating and rubbing.”
“Precisely so,” concluded Upāli, “the Doctrine of that Exalted One, the All-Holy, the Supremely Enlightened, the Buddha, will stand dyeing, for it is a doctrine of wise men, – not of foolish folk, – and it will also stand working and rubbing.”
26. How not to Hit an Insect
Better an enemy with sense than a friend without it.
A. Boy and mosquito. Jātaka 44: i. 246-248.
Better an enemy. This parable was related by the Teacher while he was journeying from place to place in the country of the Magadhas, in a certain little village, with reference to some foolish villagers.
The story goes that once upon a time the Tathāgata went from Sāvatthi to the kingdom of Magadha, and journeying about from place to place in that kingdom, arrived at a certain little village. Now that village was inhabited for the most part by men who were utter fools. There one day those utter fools of men assembled and took counsel together, saying: “Folks, when we enter the forest and do our work, [83] the mosquitoes eat us up, and because of this our work is interrupted. Let us, every one, take bows and weapons, go and fight with the mosquitoes, pierce and cut all the mosquitoes, and thus make way with them.” They went to the forest with the thought in their minds, “We’ll pierce the mosquitoes.” But they pierced and hit one another and came to grief, and on their return, lay down within the boundaries of the village, in the village-square, and at the village-gate.
The Teacher, surrounded by the Congregation of Monks, entered that village for alms. The rest of the inhabitants, being wise men, seeing the Exalted One, erected a pavilion at the village-gate, gave abundant alms to the Congregation of Monks presided over by the Buddha, saluted the Teacher, and sat down. The Teacher, seeing wounded men lying here and there, asked those lay disciples: “Here are many men who are in a bad way. What have they done?” “Reverend Sir, these men started out with the thought in their minds, ‘We’ll have a fight with the mosquitoes.’ But they pierced one another and re turned themselves the worse for wear.” Said the Teacher: “Not only in their present state of existence have utter fools of men, with the thought in their minds, ‘We’ll hit mosquitoes,’ hit themselves; in a previous state of existence also they were the very men who, with the thought in their minds, ‘We’ll hit a mosquito,’ hit something very different.” Then, in response to a request of those men, he related the following Story of the Past:
In times past, when Brahmadatta ruled at Benāres, the Future Buddha made his living by trading. At that time, in the kingdom of Kāsi, in a certain frontier village, dwelt many carpenters. There a certain grey-haired carpenter was planing a tree. Now a mosquito settled on his head, – his head looked like the surface of a copper bowl! – and pierced his head with his stinger, just as though he were sticking him with a spear. Said he to his son who sat beside him: “Son, a mosquito is stinging me on the head, – it feels just as if he were sticking me with a spear! Shoo him away!” “Father, wait a moment! I’ll kill him with a single blow!”
At that time the Future Buddha also, seeking wares for himself, having reached that village, was sitting in that carpenter’s hut. Well, that carpenter said to his son: “Shoo this mosquito off!” “I’ll shoo him off, father!” replied the son. Taking his stand immediately behind his father, the son, with the thought in his mind, “I’ll hit the mosquito!” raised aloft a big, sharp axe, and split the skull of his father in two. The carpenter died on the spot. The Future Buddha, seeing what the son had done, thought: “Even an enemy, if he be a wise man, is better; for an enemy, [84] though it be from fear of human vengeance, will not kill.” And he uttered the following stanza:
Better an enemy with sense
Than a friend without it,
For with the words, “I’ll kill a mosquito!”
A son, – both deaf and dumb! –
Split his father’s skull!
Having uttered this stanza, the Future Buddha arose and passed away according to his deeds. As for the carpenter, his kinsfolk did their duty by his body.
Said the Teacher: “Thus, lay disciples, in a previous state of existence also they were the very men who, with the thought in their minds, ‘We’ll hit a mosquito,’ hit something very different.” Having related this parable, he joined the connection and identified the personages in the Birth-story as follows: “But the wise man who uttered the stanza and departed on that occasion was I myself.”
B. Girl and fly. Jātaka 45: i. 248-249.
Better an enemy. This parable was related by the Teacher while he was in residence at Jetavana with reference to a certain slave-girl belonging to Treasurer Anāthapiṇḍika.
Anāthapiṇḍika, we are told, had a certain slave-girl named Rohiṇī. Where she was pounding rice, her old mother came in and lay down. Flies buzzed round her and ate her up, just as though they were piercing her with needles. She said to her daughter: “My dear, the flies are eating me up. Shoo them off!” “I’ll shoo them off!” replied the daughter. Raising her pestle aloft, intending to kill the flies, with the thought in her mind, “I’ll make way with them!” she struck her mother with the pestle and killed her. When she saw what she had done, she began to weep: “Mother! Mother!”
They reported that incident to the treasurer. The treasurer had her body attended to, and went to the monastery and reported the whole incident to the Teacher. Said the Teacher: “Verily, householder, not only in her present state of existence has this girl, with the thought in her mind, ‘I’ll kill the flies on my mother’s head!’ struck her mother with a pestle and killed her; in a previous state of existence also she killed her mother in the very same way.” And in response to the treasurer’s request, he related the following Story of the Past:
In times past, when Brahmadatta ruled at Benāres, the Future Buddha was reborn in a treasurer’s household, and on the death [85] of his father, succeeded to the post of treasurer. He also had a slave-girl named Rohiṇī. She also, when her mother came to the place where she was pounding rice and said to her, “My dear, shoo the flies away from me!” – she also, in the very same way, struck her mother with a pestle and killed her and began to weep. The Future Buddha, hearing of that incident, thought: “For even an enemy in this world, if only he be a wise man, is better!” And he uttered the following; stanza:
Better an enemy who is intelligent
Than a well-disposed person who is a fool!
Look at that wretched little Rohiṇī!
She killed her mother, and now, – she weeps!
With this stanza did the Future Buddha preach the Doctrine, praising the man of wisdom.
Said the Teacher: “Verily, householder, not only in her present state of existence has this girl, with the thought in her mind, ‘I’ll kill flies!’ caused the death of her mother; in a previous state of existence also she caused the death of her mother in the very same way.” Having related this parable, he joined the connection and identified the personages in the Birth-story as follows: “At that time that very mother was the mother, that very daughter was the daughter, but the Great Treasurer was I myself.”
27. Monkey-Gardeners
Misdirected effort spells failure.
A. One-stanza version. Jātaka 46: i. 249-251.
Never, in the hands of one who knows not what is good. This parable was related by the Teacher in a certain little village in the country of the Kosalas with reference to one who spoiled a garden.
The story goes that the Teacher, while journeying from place to place in the country of the Kosalas, arrived at a certain little village. There a certain householder invited the Tathāgata, provided seats in his garden, gave alms to the Congregation of Monks presided over by the Buddha, and said: “Reverend Sirs, walk about in this garden according to your pleasure.”
The monks arose, and accompanied by the gardener, walked about the garden. Seeing a certain bare spot, they asked the gardener: “Disciple, everywhere else this garden has dense shade, but in this spot [86] there is not so much as a tree or a shrub. What, pray, is the reason for this?” “Reverend Sirs, when this garden was planted, a certain village boy watered it. In this spot he pulled up the young trees by the roots, and according as the roots were large or small, watered them plentifully or sparingly. Those young trees withered and died. That’s how this spot comes to be so bare!”
The monks approached the Teacher and reported that matter to him. Said the Teacher: “Not only in his present state of existence has that village boy spoiled a garden; in a previous state of existence also he did naught but spoil a garden.” So saying, he related the following Story of the Past:
In times past, when Brahmadatta ruled at Benāres, a holiday was proclaimed. From the moment they heard the holiday drum, the residents of the entire city went about making holiday.
At that time many monkeys lived in the king’s garden. The gardener thought: “A holiday has been proclaimed in the city. I’ll tell these monkeys to water the garden, and then I’ll go make holiday.” Approaching the leader of the monkeys, he said: “Master monkey-leader, this garden is of great use even to you. Here you eat flowers and fruits and shoots. A holiday has been proclaimed in the city. I’m going to make holiday.” And he asked him the question: “Can you water the young trees in this garden until I come back?” “Yes, indeed, I’ll water them.” “Very well,” said the gardener; “be heedful.” So saying, he gave those monkeys water-skins and wooden water-pots to use in watering the trees, and departed. The monkeys took the water-skins and wooden water-pots and watered the young trees.
Now the leader of the monkeys said to the monkeys: “Master monkeys, the water must not be wasted. When you water the young trees, pull them up by the roots, every one; look at the roots; water plentifully the roots that strike deep, but sparingly the roots that do not strike deep; later on we shall have a hard time getting water.” “Very well,” said the monkeys, promising to do as he told them to. And they did so.
At that time a certain wise man saw those monkeys working away in the king’s garden, and said to them: “Master-monkeys, why are you pulling up by the roots every one of those young trees and watering them plentifully or sparingly according as the roots are large or small?” The monkeys replied: “That’s what the monkey who is our leader told us to do.” When the wise man heard [87] that reply, he thought: “Alas! alas! Those that are fools, those that lack wisdom, say to themselves: ‘We’ll do good.’ But harm’s the only thing they do!” And he uttered the following stanza:
Never, in the hands of one who knows not what is good,
Does a good undertaking turn out happily.
A man who lacks intelligence spoils what is good
Like the monkey who worked in the garden.
Thus, with this stanza, did that wise man censure the leader of the monkeys. Having so done, he departed from the garden with his followers.
Said the Teacher: “Not only in his present state of existence has that village boy spoiled a garden; in a previous state of existence also he did naught but spoil a garden.” Having related this parable, he joined the connection and identified the personages in the Birth-story as follows: “At that time the leader of the monkeys was the village boy who spoiled a garden, but the wise man was I myself.”
B. Three-stanza version. Jātaka 268: ii. 345-347.
If the monkey considered the best of the crowd. This parable was related by the Teacher in the South Mountain region with reference to a certain gardener’s son.
The story goes that the Teacher, after keeping residence for the period of the rains, departed from Jetavana and journeyed from place to place in the South Mountain region. Now a certain lay disciple invited the Congregation of Monks presided over by the Buddha, provided seats in his garden, delighted them with rice-gruel and hard food, and said: “Noble sirs, if you desire to take a walk about the garden, go with this gardener.” And he gave orders to the gardener: “Pray give the noble monks fruits and other such-like edibles.”
As the monks walked about, they saw a certain cleared space, and asked: “This space is cleared, without growing trees; what, pray, is the reason for this?” Then the gardener told them: “The story goes that a certain gardener’s son once watered the saplings. ‘I’ll water them plentifully or sparingly according as the roots are large or small,’ thought he. So he pulled them up by the roots and watered them plentifully or sparingly according as the roots were large or small. That’s how this space comes to be cleared!”
The monks went to the Teacher and reported that matter to him. Said the Teacher: “Not only in his present state of existence has that youth spoiled a garden; in a previous state of existence also he did naught but spoil a garden.” So saying, he related the following Story of the Past: [88]
In times past, when Vissasena ruled at Benāres, a holiday was proclaimed. Thought the gardener: “I’ll go make holiday;” and said to the monkeys who lived in the garden: “This garden is of great use to you. I’m going to make holiday for seven days. You must water the saplings on the seventh day.” “Very well,” said they, consenting. He gave them little water-skins and departed.
The monkeys did as they were told and watered the saplings. Now the leader of the monkeys said to the monkeys: “Wait a moment! Water is at all times hard to get; it must not be wasted. What you must do is to pull up the saplings by the roots, note the length of the roots, water plentifully the saplings that have long roots, but sparingly those that have short roots.” “Very well,” said the monkeys, and went about watering the saplings, some of them pulling the saplings up by the roots and others planting them again.
At that time the Future Buddha was the son of a certain notable in Benāres. Having occasion, for some purpose or other, to go to the garden, he saw those monkeys working away, and asked them: “Who told you to do this?” “The monkey who is our leader.” “Well! if this is the wisdom of your leader, what must yours be like!” And explaining the matter, he uttered the first stanza:
If the monkey considered the best of the crowd
Has wisdom like this,
Then what in the world must the others be like?
Hearing this remark, the monkeys uttered the second stanza:
Brahman, you don’t know what you are talking about
When you blame us like this;
For how, unless we see the roots,
Can we know whether the tree stands firm?
Hearing their reply, the Future Buddha uttered the third stanza:
It isn’t you I blame, – not I, –
Nor the other monkeys in the wood;
Vissasena alone is the one to blame,
Who asked you to tend his trees for him.
When the Teacher had related this parable, he identified the personages in the Birth-story as follows: “At that time the leader of the monkeys was the youth who spoiled the garden, but the wise man was I myself.”
28. Boar and Lion
Touch not pitch lest ye be defiled.
Jātaka 153: ii. 9-12.
[89] A conceited old monk annoys the Chief Disciples with foolish questions, runs away, falls into a privy, and emerges all covered with dung. The Teacher, remarking that in a previous state of existence also he measured strength with the mighty and was covered with dung, relates the following Story of the Past:
In times past, when Brahmadatta ruled at Benāres, the Future Buddha, reborn as a lion, made his home in a mountain cave in the Himalaya country. Not far off, near a certain lake, lived many boars. Near that same lake ascetics also dwelt.
Now one day the lion killed a buffalo or an elephant or some other such animal and ate his fill of its flesh. Then he descended into that lake, drank water, and started to come out again. At that moment a fat boar was feeding near that lake. The lion, seeing him, reflected: “Some other day I’ll eat him. But if he sees me, he may not come back again.” So for fear that the boar might not come back again, the lion, on coming up out of the water, started to steal around by one side.
The boar watched him and reflected: “That fellow, when he saw me, was afraid of me, and therefore dared not come up to me. He is fleeing in fear. Now’s the time for me to measure strength with that lion.” So lifting his head, he challenged the lion to do battle with him, reciting the first stanza:
I am a beast, master; you also, master, are a beast.
Come, lion, turn around. Why do you flee in fear?
When the lion heard his talk, he replied: “Master boar, to-day there will be no battle between me and you; but seven days hence the battle shall take place at this very spot.” So saying, he went his way.
The boar, pleased and delighted at the thought, “I shall do battle with a lion,” told the news to his kinsfolk. When they heard his story, they were frightened and terrified. Said they: “Now you will cause the destruction of every one of us. Not knowing how slight is your strength, you desire to do battle with a lion. [90] The lion will come and kill every one of us. Do not commit an act of violence.”
The boar, frightened and terrified, asked: “What shall I do now?” Said the other boars: “Go to the dunghill of these ascetics, wallow in the muck for seven days, and let your body dry off. On the seventh day, having moistened your body with drops of dew, go to the battleground ahead of the lion, and noting the direction of the wind, stand to the windward. The cleanly lion, smelling the odor of your body, will give you the victory and depart.” The boar did so. On the seventh day, there he stood!
The lion, smelling the odor of his body, and knowing that he was covered with dung, said: “Master boar, that was a beautiful stratagem you devised. Had you not covered yourself with dung, I should have killed you on the spot. But as it is, it is quite im possible for me either to crush you with my jaws or to strike you with my paws. I give you the victory.” So saying, he recited the second stanza:
You are filthy, you bristle with muck,
With bad smells you reek, boar.
If you wish to fight, I give you the victory, master.
The lion turned around, got himself a meal, drank water in the lake, and went back to his mountain cave. The boar informed his kinsfolk: “I conquered the lion!” They were frightened and terrified. Said they: “The lion will come back again one of these days and kill every one of us.” So saying, they scampered off to another place.
29. Beetle and Elephant
Pride goeth before a fall.
Jātaka 227: ii. 211-212.
A monk, annoyed by a youth, pelts him with dung. The Teacher, remarking that the monk attacked the youth in similar fashion in a previous state of existence, relates the following Story of the Past:
One day in the olden time some dwellers in Aṅga and Magadha, on their way to each other’s country, put up at a house on the boundary, drank liquor, and ate fish and flesh. Early next morning they harnessed their wagons and continued their journey. [91]
When they had gone, a certain wretched little dung-beetle, attracted by the smell of dung, drew near. Seeing liquor poured out on the ground where the travelers had drunk, and being thirsty, he drank thereof, and becoming drunk, climbed up on a dunghill. When he had climbed to the top, the moist dung gave way a little. Thereupon he exclaimed: “The earth cannot support my weight!”
At that very moment an elephant in rut came into the vicinity, but detecting the odor of dung, retreated. The beetle, seeing him, concluded: “That fellow is fleeing in fear.” And saying to himself: “I must do battle with that fellow!” he challenged him, reciting the first stanza:
A hero has met a hero who is strong and can deal a blow.
Come, elephant, turn around. Why do you flee in fear?
Let Aṅgas and Magadhas see my prowess and yours.
The elephant pricked up his ears when he heard the beetle’s words, turned around, went up to him, and treating him as an outcast, recited the second stanza:
I’ll kill you not with foot nor tusks nor trunk;
With dung I’ll kill you; let filth be slain with filth.
So saying, the elephant let drop on top of the beetle a great mass of dung, made water on him, and thus killed him on the spot. Then he made off into the forest again, trumpeting the Heron’s Call.