18.5 The Story about a Certain Youth of Good Family

Dhp 242-243

Burlingame: The Wickedness of Women

Compare: Ja 65

A youth got married but his wife was given to adultery and put the young man to shame; when he met the Buddha the latter reminded him that in a previous existence also he was betrayed by his wife, and then he taught him with a verse.

Keywords: Women, Adultery, Past Lives, Bodhisatta

“Bad conduct is a woman’s stain,” [30.124] this Dhamma teaching was given by the Teacher while he was in residence at Veḷuvana with reference to a certain youth of respectable family.

It seems that this youth married a young woman of equal birth. From the day of her marriage his wife played the adulteress. Embarrassed by her adulteries, the youth had not the courage to meet people face to face. {3.349} After a few days had passed, it became his duty to wait upon the Buddha. So he approached the Teacher, saluted him, and sat down on one side. “Disciple, why is it that you no longer let yourself be seen?” asked the Teacher. The youth told the Teacher the whole story.

Then said the Teacher to him: “Disciple, even in a former state of existence I said: ‘Women are like rivers and the like, and a wise man should not get angry with them.’ But because rebirth is hidden from you, you do not understand this.” In compliance with a request of the youth, the Teacher related the following Birth Story about Discontent: AJ: Ja 65, the commentary gives only the verse, I include the whole story here.

In the past when Brahmadatta was reigning in Benares, the Bodhisatta was a teacher of world-wide reputation. And a pupil of his, finding his wife unfaithful, was so affected by the discovery that he stayed away for some days, but being asked one day by his teacher what was the reason of his absence, he made a clean breast of it. Then said his teacher: “My son, there is no private property in women: they are common to all. And therefore wise men knowing their frailty, are not excited to anger against them.” And so saying, he repeated this verse for his pupil’s edification:

Just like rivers and highways,
taverns, assembly halls and cisterns,
so are women in the world –
the wise do not get angry with them.

Such was the instruction which the Bodhisatta imparted to his pupil, who thenceforward grew indifferent to what women did. And as for his wife, she was so changed by hearing that the teacher knew what she was, that she gave up her naughtiness thenceforth.

So too that lay brother’s wife, when she heard that the Teacher knew what she was, gave up her naughtiness thenceforth.

“For,” said the Teacher, “bad conduct is a stain on a woman; stinginess is a stain on the giver of alms; wicked actions, because of the destruction they cause, both in this world and the next, are stains on all living beings; but of all stains, ignorance is the worst stain.” So saying, the Teacher pronounced the following verses:

242. Malitthiyā duccaritaṁ, maccheraṁ dadato malaṁ,
malā ve pāpakā dhammā asmiṁ loke paramhi ca.

Bad conduct is a woman’s stain,
stinginess is a giver’s stain,
wicked actions are indeed stains
both in this world and in the next.

243. Tato malā malataraṁ, avijjā paramaṁ malaṁ,
etaṁ malaṁ pahatvāna, nimmalā hotha, bhikkhavo!

A stain that is worse than that stain,
ignorance is the supreme stain,
after abandoning that stain,
be without stains, O monastics! {3.351}