14. Putto
The Child
(7 Verses)
173–174 [stm.]
Pañca ṭhānāni sampassaṁ puttam-icchanti paṇḍitā:
bhato vā no bharissati, kiccaṁ vā no karissati,
kulavaṁso ciraṁ tiṭṭhe, dāyajjaṁ paṭipajjati,
atha vā pana petānaṁ dakkhiṇānuppadassati.
Considering these five reasons the wise wish for a child, (thinking): Supported, he will support us, he will do his duties for us, the family lineage will stand for a long time, he will manage the inheritance, and then he will make offerings to the dead.
First, parents hope the child will support them in old age, reversing the caregiving relationship. Second, the child will perform necessary familial and social duties. Third, the child ensures the continuity of the family lineage, preserving its name and heritage. Fourth, the child will responsibly manage and pass on the family inheritance. Finally, and most significantly, the child will make merit through offerings in the parents’ name after their death, providing them with spiritual sustenance in the afterlife.
175 [stm.]
Atijātam-anujātaṁ puttam-icchanti paṇḍitā,
avajātaṁ na icchanti, yo hoti kulachinnako.
The wise wish for a child who is better or (at least) equal, they do not wish for one inferior, one who breaks up the family.
Wise parents do not simply wish for just any child; they desire a child who is either equal to them in virtue and accomplishment, or, ideally, superior, one who will elevate the family’s standing, especially in the Dhamma. They fear a child who is inferior, one whose bad conduct brings shame, dissipates wealth, or abandons tradition, thus breaking up the family in both a social and moral sense. Such a child severs the lineage not just physically but morally, destroying its reputation and spiritual potential.
176 [sim., stm.]
Ekūdarasamuppannā, na bhavanti samassamā,
nānā vaṇṇā, nānā carā, yathā badarakaṇḍakā.
Though arising in the same womb, they are not the same, they are of various kinds, various conduct, like the thorns of a jujube.
Siblings born from the same parents can possess radically different natures, characters, and behaviors. They are not uniform or equal in quality. The thorns on a jujube tree, although growing from the same source, vary in size, shape, and sharpness. This natural variation explains why, despite similar upbringing, one child may become virtuous while another becomes wayward. It acknowledges the role of individual tendencies based on previous lives’ deeds that each child brings with him, which then interact with parental guidance.
177 [adm.]
Adame bahavo dosā, dame tu bahavo guṇā,
tasmā puttañ-ca sissañ-ca damakāle va dammaye.
In the undisciplined are many faults, but in the disciplined are many virtues, therefore a child and a pupil should be disciplined at a time for discipline.
An undisciplined person is a collection of faults, they are unrestrained, impulsive, and prone to error. A disciplined person, in contrast, cultivates many virtues: patience, respect, self-control, and diligence. Therefore, the crucial duty of a parent or teacher is to apply discipline at the appropriate time for discipline, meaning especially in youth when character is malleable, and at the moment when a correction can be effectively learned. Timely discipline is the transformative act that turns the raw potential of a child into a virtuous adult.
178 [adm.]
Ovādeyyānusāseyya, asabbhā ca nivāraye,
danto hi so piyo hoti, adanto hoti appiyo. Dhp reads: sataṁ hi so piyo hoti, asataṁ hoti appiyo; one is loved by the good, but one is not loved by the bad.
One should both advise and instruct, and forbid what is vile, one is loved by the disciplined, but one is not loved by the undisciplined.
One must first advise and instruct, providing positive direction and teaching. Second, one must forbid what is vile, clearly setting boundaries against unwholesome behavior. The result of this balanced approach is that the disciplined person comes to love and respect the disciplinarian, recognising the care behind the correction. Conversely, the undisciplined person, left to their own destructive habits, grows to resent or feel unloved by those who failed to guide them properly. True care therefore involves both encouragement and restraint.
179 [ana., adm.]
Puttaṁ vā bhātaraṁ duṭṭhaṁ, anusāseyya no jahe,
kiṁ nu chejjaṁ hatthapādaṁ, littaṁ asucinā siyā?
One should instruct, not abandon, a corrupt child or brother, why would one cut off hands and feet when they are soiled with filth?
One should never abandon a wayward child or brother; the duty is to continually instruct and attempt to reform them. If your own hand or foot became soiled with filth, you would not immediately cut it off. You would wash it repeatedly until it was clean. Similarly, a soiled relative, though corrupted by bad conduct, remains related to you. The response should be patient, persistent cleansing through moral instruction, not amputation or abandonment. Family bonds demand unwavering efforts at rehabilitation.