Austere Striving

4. The Austerities MN 36, 85, 100.

Then this occurred to me: ‘What if I, with teeth clenched against teeth, with the tongue pressing on the palate, were to completely restrain, constrain and suppress one thought with another thought.

Then I with teeth clenched against teeth, with the tongue pressing on the palate, did completely restrain, constrain and suppress one thought with another thought.

Then to me with teeth clenched against teeth, with the tongue pressing on the palate, with complete restraint, constraint and suppression of one thought with another thought, sweat flowed from my armpits.

Just as a strong man after seizing a very weak man by the head, or seizing him by the body, would restrain, constrain and suppress him, just so to me with teeth clenched against teeth, with the tongue pressing on the palate, with complete restraint, constraint and suppression of one thought with another thought, sweat flowed from my armpits.

But although my energy was strenuous and unshaken, and mindfulness was attended to and unconfused, my body was overstressed, not quietened, and therefore the effort I made was overwhelmed by the strain of exertion.

5. The Breathless Meditation MN 36, 85, 100.

Then this occurred to me: ‘What if I were to meditate on the breathless meditation?’

Then I blocked the in-breath and out-breath at the mouth and at the nose.

Then to me, with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose, there was an excessive noise of wind escaping through the ears.

Just as there is an excessive noise from blowing on a smith’s bellows, just so to me with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose, there was an excessive noise of wind escaping through the ears.

But although for me energy was strenuous and unshaken, and mindfulness was attended to and unconfused, my body was overstressed, not quietened, and therefore the effort I made was overwhelmed by the strain of exertion.

* * *

Then this occurred to me: ‘What if I were to meditate on the breathless meditation?’

Then I blocked the in-breath and out-breath at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears.

Then to me, with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears, excessive winds raged within my head.

Just as though a strong man were to cleave inside my head with a sharp pointed sword, just so to me with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears, excessive winds raged within my head.

But although for me energy was strenuous and unshaken, and mindfulness was attended to and unconfused, my body was overstressed, not quietened, and therefore the effort I made was overwhelmed by the strain of exertion.

* * *

Then this occurred to me: ‘What if I were to meditate on the breathless meditation?’

Then I blocked the in-breath and out-breath at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears.

Then to me, with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears, there was an excessive headache in my head.

Just as though a strong man were to tie a turban on my head with a strong thong of leather, just so to me with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears, there was an excessive headache in my head.

But although for me energy was strenuous and unshaken, and mindfulness was attended to and unconfused, my body was overstressed, not quietened, and therefore the effort I made was overwhelmed by the strain of exertion.

* * *

Then this occurred to me: ‘What if I were to meditate on the breathless meditation?’

Then I blocked the in-breath and out-breath at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears.

Then to me, with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears, excessive winds cut through my stomach.

Just as though a butcher or a butcher’s apprentice were to cut through the stomach with a sharp butcher’s knife, Lit: Cow-knife. just so to me with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears, excessive winds cut through my stomach.

But although for me energy was strenuous and unshaken, and mindfulness was attended to and unconfused, my body was overstressed, not quietened, and therefore the effort I made was overwhelmed by the strain of exertion.

* * *

Then this occurred to me: ‘What if I were to meditate on the breathless meditation?’

Then I blocked the in-breath and out-breath at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears.

Then to me, with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears, there was an excessive fever inside the body.

Just as though two strong men after seizing a very weak man with their arms, were to burn and scorch him with embers, so for me with the in-breath and out-breath blocked at the mouth and at the nose and at the ears, there was an excessive fever inside the body.

But although for me energy was strenuous and unshaken, and mindfulness was attended to and unconfused, my body was overstressed, not quietened, and therefore the effort I made was overwhelmed by the strain of exertion.

Further, this occurred to the gods after seeing me:
‘The ascetic Gotama has died,’ Lit: made (his) time.
this occurred to some gods:
‘The ascetic Gotama has not died, he is dying,’
this occurred to some gods:
‘The ascetic Gotama has not died, he is not dying, the ascetic Gotama is Worthy, it is in this way that the Worthy One lives.’

Then I rejected those gods, saying: “Why should I do that?”

6. The Fasting MN 36, 85, 100.

Then this occurred to me: ‘What if I were to take food little by little, measure by measure, whether it be mung bean soup, or vetch soup, or chick-pea soup, or pea soup?’

Then I took food little by little, measure by measure, whether mung bean soup, or vetch soup, or chick-pea soup, or pea soup.

Then, as I took food little by little, measure by measure, whether mung bean soup, or vetch soup, or chick-pea soup, or pea soup, this body became excessively emaciated.

Just like vine knots or bamboo knots, so were my limbs both great and small through having so little food.

Just like a camel’s foot, so did my buttocks become through having so little food.

Just like a twisted vine, so did my backbone become twisted through having so little food.

Just like an old hall, in which the main beam is rotten and broken, so did my ribs became rotten and broken through having so little food.

Just like in a deep pool, the stars in the water are seen lying deep and distant, so in the sockets of my eyes, the pupils of my eyes were seen lying deep and distant through having so little food.

Just like a freshly cut bitter gourd will become withered and shrunken through wind and heat, so did the skin on my head become withered and shrunken through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will touch the skin of my stomach,’ I took ahold of my backbone, thinking: ‘I will touch my backbone,’ I took ahold of the skin of my stomach, so far did the skin of my stomach and my backbone stick together through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will pass excrement or urine,’ I fell down face forward right there through having so little food.

Then I rubbed this body and my limbs comfortably with my hand. Then as I rubbed my limbs with my hand, hair that was rotten at the root fell out of my body through having so little food.

Further this occurred to men after seeing me:
‘The ascetic Gotama is black,’
and to some men this occurred:
‘The ascetic Gotama is not black, the ascetic Gotama is brown,’
and to some men this occurred:
‘The ascetic Gotama is not black, he is not brown, the ascetic Gotama has golden skin.’

So far was the pure and bright colour of my skin spoilt through having so little food.

7. More extreme Austerities MN 12.

I was aware of living the spiritual life endowed with four factors:

I was one who lived austere, supremely austere,
I was one who lived rough, supremely rough,
I was one who lived avoiding, supremely avoiding,
I was one who lived secluded, supremely secluded.

This was my austerity there:

I was without clothes, living freely, licking my hands, not one who came when called, not one who stopped when called, I did not take food offered, nor alloted, nor when invited.

I did not accept from the rim of a pot,
I did not accept from the rim of a bowl,
not across a threshold,
not across a stick,
not across a pestle,
not from where two were eating,
not from one pregnant,
not from one feeding with the breast,
not from a woman in the midst of men,
not in a place advertised,
not from where it was made ready,
not from where flies were swarming.

I did not accept fish nor meat,
I did not drink liquor, nor wine, not fermented drinks.

I had but one house, or one morsel,
I had but two houses, or two morsels,
I had but three houses, or three morsels,
I had but four houses, or four morsels,
I had but five houses, or five morsels,
I had but six houses, or six morsels,
I had but seven houses, or seven morsels.

I survived from one saucer,
I survived from two saucers,
I survived from three saucers,
I survived from four saucers,
I survived from five saucers,
I survived from six saucers,
I survived from seven saucers.

I ate food once a day,
I ate food once in two days,
I ate food once in three days,
I ate food once in four days,
I ate food once in five days,
I ate food once in six days,
I ate food once in seven days,
and so up and to half a month,
I dwelt applying and devoting myself to eating food methodically.

I was one who ate only vegetables,
I was one who ate only millet,
I was one who ate only grain,
I was one who ate only rice,
I was one who ate only waterplants,
I was one who ate only husks,
I was one who ate only scum,
I was one who ate only poonac,
I was one who ate only grass,
I was one who ate only cow-dung.

I was one who survived on forest roots and fruits,
I was one who fed on fallen fruit.

I was one who wore only hemp,
I was one who wore only hempen admixture,
I was one who wore only charnel rags,
I was one who wore only dust-heap rags,
I was one who wore only bark,
I was one who wore only hides,
I was one who wore only cheetah hide,
I was one who wore only kusa-grass strips,
I was one who wore only bark strips,
I was one who wore only wooden slips,
I was one who wore only hair blankets,
I was one who wore only horse-hair blankets,
I was one who wore only owls’ wings.

I was one who uprooted hair and beard, I dwelt applying and devoting myself to uprooting hair and beard.

I was one who stood continuously and refused seats.

I was one who squatted, I dwelt applying and devoting myself to squatting.

I was one who lay on thorns, I was one who prepared a bed of thorns to lie on.

I lived applying and devoting myself to submerging in water three times in the evening.

Thus in such various ways I dwelt applying and devoting myself to mortification and affliction.

Such was my austerity.

* * *

This was my roughness there:

After countless years mud and dirt has accumulated on the body of the bark of a tree.

And just as after countless years on the stump of a tinduka tree mud and dirt has accumulated on the bark of the tree, so also after countless years mud and dirt has accumulated on my body like the bark of a tree.

But this did not occur to me: ‘Indeed I should brush off with my hand this mud and dirt, or, others should brush off with their hand this mud and dirt.’ This didn’t occur to me.

Such was my roughness.

* * *

This was my avoidance Comm: pāpajegucchiko, avoiding wickedness. there:

I was mindful in going forwards, I was mindful in going back, I dwelt with sympathy even for a drop of water, thinking: ‘Let me not cause pain towards small creatures in inaccessible places.’

Such was my avoidance.

* * *

This was my seclusion there:

I lived after entering into a certain wilderness. Whenever I saw a cowherder or a herdsman, someone gathering grass, or someone gathering sticks, or a woodsman, from wood to wood, from thicket to thicket, from vale to vale, from plateau to plateau I fled.

Why is that? I thought: ‘Do not let them see me, do not let me see them.’

Just as a wild animal, having seen men, from wood to wood, from thicket to thicket, from vale to vale, from plateau to plateau flees, so whenever I saw a cowherder or a herdsman, someone gathering grass, or someone gathering sticks, or a woodsman, from wood to wood, from thicket to thicket, from vale to vale, from plateau to plateau I fled.

Why is that? I thought: ‘Do not let them see me, do not let me see them.’

Such was my seclusion.

8. Even more Austerities MN 12.

When the cows and the cowherders had left the cow-shed, after approaching that place on all fours, I ate the cow-dung of whatever young calves and suckling calves were there.

And for as long as my own urine and excrement was not exhausted, I ate my own urine and excrement.

Such was my greatly disgusting food.

Having entered a certain fearful wooded thicket I lived there.

There would be fear of that fearful wooded thicket, and when whoever is not without lust entered into that thicket, all his hair would stand on end.

During the cold Winter nights, in between ‘the eights’, at the time of the snowfall, I lived in the open by night during the nights, and by day in the wooded thicket, and during the last month of the hot season by day I lived in the open, and at night in the wooded thicket.

Further, these truly wonderful verses, unheard previously in the past, occurred to me:

Scorched and frozen, solitary in the fearful wood,
naked without fire to sit by, the sage is intent on his search.

I made my bed in the charnel ground, and reclined on the bones of corpses.

After approaching me the cowherders’ sons spat, urinated, threw mud, and pushed straws into my ears. But I do not recall an unwholesome thought arising towards them.

Such was my abiding in equanimity.

9. Purity through Eating MN 12.

Now there are some ascetics and brahmins who say this, have this view: ‘There is purity through eating.’

They say this: ‘We survive on red date.’ They eat red date, they eat red date powder, they drink red date juice: they enjoy countless kinds of red date.

But I recall surviving on just one red date a day for food.

It may occur to you: ‘At that time red date was very large.’ But it should not be seen like that. At that time at the most the red date was as it is nowadays.

Because of only eating one red date for food my body became exceedingly thin.

Just like vine knots or bamboo knots, so were my limbs both great and small through having so little food.

Just like a camel’s foot, so did my buttocks become through having so little food.

Just like a twisted vine, so did my backbone become twisted through having so little food.

Just like an old hall, in which the main beam is rotten and broken, so did my ribs became rotten and broken through having so little food.

Just like in a deep pool, the stars in the water are seen lying deep and distant, so in the sockets of my eyes, the pupils of my eyes were seen lying deep and distant through having so little food.

Just like a freshly cut bitter gourd will become withered and shrunken through wind and heat, so did the skin on my head become withered and shrunken through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will touch the skin of my stomach,’ I took ahold of my backbone, thinking: ‘I will touch my backbone,’ I took ahold of the skin of my stomach, so far did the skin of my stomach and my backbone stick together through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will pass excrement or urine,’ I fell down face forward right there through having so little food.

Then I rubbed this body and my limbs comfortably with my hand. Then as I rubbed my limbs with my hand, hair that was rotten at the root fell out of my body through having so little food.

* * *

Now there are some ascetics and brahmins who say this, have this view: ‘There is purity through eating.’

They say this: ‘We survive on mung bean.’ They eat mung bean, they eat mung bean powder, they drink mung bean juice: they enjoy countless kinds of mung bean.

But I recall surviving on just one mung bean a day for food.

It may occur to you: ‘At that time mung bean was very large.’ But it should not be seen like that. At that time at the most the mung bean was as it is nowadays.

Because of only eating one mung bean for food my body became exceedingly thin.

Just like vine knots or bamboo knots, so were my limbs both great and small through having so little food.

Just like a camel’s foot, so did my buttocks become through having so little food.

Just like a twisted vine, so did my backbone become twisted through having so little food.

Just like an old hall, in which the main beam is rotten and broken, so did my ribs became rotten and broken through having so little food.

Just like in a deep pool, the stars in the water are seen lying deep and distant, so in the sockets of my eyes, the pupils of my eyes were seen lying deep and distant through having so little food.

Just like a freshly cut bitter gourd will become withered and shrunken through wind and heat, so did the skin on my head become withered and shrunken through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will touch the skin of my stomach,’ I took ahold of my backbone, thinking: ‘I will touch my backbone,’ I took ahold of the skin of my stomach, so far did the skin of my stomach and my backbone stick together through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will pass excrement or urine,’ I fell down face forward right there through having so little food.

Then I rubbed this body and my limbs comfortably with my hand. Then as I rubbed my limbs with my hand, hair that was rotten at the root fell out of my body through having so little food.

* * *

Now there are some ascetics and brahmins who say this, have this view: ‘There is purity through eating.’

They say this: ‘We survive on sesame.’ They eat sesame, they eat sesame powder, they drink sesame juice: they enjoy countless kinds of sesame.

But I recall surviving on just one sesame a day for food.

It may occur to you: ‘At that time sesame was very large.’ But it should not be seen like that. At that time at the most the sesame was as it is nowadays.

Because of only eating one sesame for food my body became exceedingly thin.

Just like vine knots or bamboo knots, so were my limbs both great and small through having so little food.

Just like a camel’s foot, so did my buttocks become through having so little food.

Just like a twisted vine, so did my backbone become twisted through having so little food.

Just like an old hall, in which the main beam is rotten and broken, so did my ribs became rotten and broken through having so little food.

Just like in a deep pool, the stars in the water are seen lying deep and distant, so in the sockets of my eyes, the pupils of my eyes were seen lying deep and distant through having so little food.

Just like a freshly cut bitter gourd will become withered and shrunken through wind and heat, so did the skin on my head become withered and shrunken through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will touch the skin of my stomach,’ I took ahold of my backbone, thinking: ‘I will touch my backbone,’ I took ahold of the skin of my stomach, so far did the skin of my stomach and my backbone stick together through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will pass excrement or urine,’ I fell down face forward right there through having so little food.

Then I rubbed this body and my limbs comfortably with my hand. Then as I rubbed my limbs with my hand, hair that was rotten at the root fell out of my body through having so little food.

* * *

Now there are some ascetics and brahmins who say this, have this view: ‘There is purity through eating.’

They say this: ‘We survive on chick-peas.’ They eat chick-pea, they eat chick-pea powder, they drink chick-pea juice: they enjoy countless kinds of chick-pea.

But I recall surviving on just one chick-pea a day for food.

It may occur to you: ‘At that time chick-pea was very large.’ But it should not be seen like that. At that time at the most the chick-pea was as it is nowadays.

Because of only eating one chick-pea for food my body became exceedingly thin.

Just like vine knots or bamboo knots, so were my limbs both great and small through having so little food.

Just like a camel’s foot, so did my buttocks become through having so little food.

Just like a twisted vine, so did my backbone become twisted through having so little food.

Just like an old hall, in which the main beam is rotten and broken, so did my ribs became rotten and broken through having so little food.

Just like in a deep pool, the stars in the water are seen lying deep and distant, so in the sockets of my eyes, the pupils of my eyes were seen lying deep and distant through having so little food.

Just like a freshly cut bitter gourd will become withered and shrunken through wind and heat, so did the skin on my head become withered and shrunken through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will touch the skin of my stomach,’ I took ahold of my backbone, thinking: ‘I will touch my backbone,’ I took ahold of the skin of my stomach, so far did the skin of my stomach and my backbone stick together through having so little food.

Then thinking: ‘I will pass excrement or urine,’ I fell down face forward right there through having so little food.

Then I rubbed this body and my limbs comfortably with my hand. Then as I rubbed my limbs with my hand, hair that was rotten at the root fell out of my body through having so little food.

By such conduct, by such practice, by doing such austerities, I did not attain states beyond ordinary human beings, a distinction of what is truly noble knowledge and insight.

Why is that?

I did not attain the noble wisdom, which noble wisdom, when attained, is noble and leads out, and leads one who practices rightly to the destruction of suffering.